I mean really, I was spanked and punished when I was a child! I turned out just fine !
(At least my guardian is a changed person.)
Just remember that, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him". Proverbs 13:24
In reality, parents need to be parents. The government needs to quit trying to replace parents, because the government can't raise children, just wards of the state. Parents should be able to spank their children, and while you're at it, schools should be allowed to do the same, both within reason. Take that away, you notice a lot of issues with the children in the hippy generation.
As a side note, I have quite a few stories that would make you laugh till you gagged, Shannon.
This kid I know has two parents that tried to be "cool". Never punished him, served alcohol to minors to try and please their child, and so on. They were the "cool parents" but they spoilt that boy. Well, they did the same to his big brother. Take a guess at what happened:
The older kid is 22 and lives in his parent's basement with a highschool education. His ambition? Become a rap star.
As for the younger kid...well...it's not as funny of a fate.
So, so long as you say "I got spanked as a child and I turned out just fine", I think I'll say "My Mom found other ways to teach me right from wrong, and I turned out even better." Clearly, you must not remember what the fear and pain you felt as a child was like, so it's become so easy for you to say. You sound like you could use a good spanking right now.
And like I said, it also depends on how hard the kid was spanked. A normal spank is usually just a quick swat on the ass that doesn't hurt that much. If the spank is really painful, then that's probably a sign that you're spanking too hard.
Now, spanking for the tiniest reasons and in a violent way is a different story. But spanking itself can be used in way that isn't traumatizing.
Though, of course, you could always choose not to spank your child. It's all up to the parent in disciplining in the end
You don't have to spank children. Sometimes, its not what's needed. But, most people who I've met who were never spanked as kids turned out to be spoiled brats with little to no idea what the words "right" and "wrong" and "obey" meant. They also tended to be party animals with no sense of responsibility.
"My Mom found other ways to teach me right from wrong, and I turned out even better."
I wasn't aware that we were in a "who's better then whom" contest. I was just stating that I turned out well grounded because of swats.
"Clearly, you must not remember what the fear and pain you felt as a child was like, so it's become so easy for you to say."
And clearly you forget that a simple swat on the butt's pain fades almost instantly.
It also might not fade as quickly when things like the belt are used, or a paddle. But, its not supposed to cause actual injury. If that happens, then something is wrong.
Why not try other stuff, like, lessee.. When I was a kind and I did something wrong, we would be 1. Told to do a chore of some kind. 2. Be given a time-out to think about what we did. Or 3, write an essay as to what we were thinking when we did it.
Just sayin', spanking doesn't have to be the only way. It's a little old-fashioned. Archaic even, in my mind..
And yet, it still happens to work really well. There are some kids that you just can't get through to, but that's only a few. As a general rule, spanking works.
"But I still just fail to see what it accomplishes."
It places the idea in a child's mind that if they steal that toy, lie to anyone, or do something else that breaks the rules that parents set up. Its called giving someone a consequence that is really not enjoyable so that they won't do it again and, therefore, giving the child the ability to learn from what they do so as to better themselves as a whole. Then, you explain why what they did wrong so that they'll gain understanding.
"1. Told to do a chore of some kind."
So... a four year old is definitely going to be able to do a chore that they WILL NOT enjoy? That only works on older kids and teenager, little kids can't do that many chores physically.
"2. Be given a time-out to think about what we did."
Never works... kids sit there with their noses against the walls allowing their anger to fizzle and resentment to grow. They don't learn anything. In fact, some kids just go up there and think about the next thing they're going to play. I know that I, and a few other friends of mine, did that.
"3, write an essay as to what we were thinking when we did it."
... I wasn't aware that two year old kids can write. In fact, I wasn't aware that kids under the age of five know what a sentence is. It on;y works on older kids. In some cases, there is an emotional wrongdoing where the kid wasn't thinking when they did it. In many cases, children can't answer that. Its a method of "reasoning" and, as I've said before, reasoning with kids is completely pointless because most of them have no reason.
"kind of thing that should be saved for kinky sexual practices, but nothing else"
... I'm sorry but, ewe. I do not see the point of that.
You're going completely off of emotion, I'm simply stating facts that I've analyzed over the years. Just because I am able to refute your points with evidence and logic doesn't mean that I'm calling you a liar.
I am not being defensive (or at least trying not to be). The reply you just gave me, on the other hand, is a very defensive reply and I would consider revising it and getting back to the discussion at hand.
"you're just going to nitpick and analyze desperately to death for a way to prove me wrong, because nothing is more painful, of course, then even the most remote possibility that you may be wrong."
... um, its called a debate. In a debate, we give our evidence and/or reasons to support our claims, therefore trying to prove the other wrong. If you can't handle a debate, I suggest that you get out now because at this point, you are not helping your case in the least.
Spanking is not some Christian ritual. We do not hit our children because we want to.
Look, I'm sorry, but when I was young grounding and reasoning did nothing. You know why? Because I was an unreasonable little brat.
I've seen parents nowadays with kids who don't get spanked or told "no" and those kids are little spoiled rotten brats that need a good whack in the butt. Spanking is called discipline. There is no better form. It is not abusive and it certainly doesn't cause psychological harm to the kid.
Like I said, I got spanked when I was younger and I turned out just fine. I've had friends who were spanked when they were younger and those were the section of my friend line that didn't end up in jail, or drunken idiots, or doing drugs (which is illegal where I come from), or acting like they are the superior being and that everyone else must bow to their will. I see that kind of thing and attitude from people whose parents didn't spank them as a child.
There's a fine line between a whack on the butt and a punch in the face. Punch in the face is where it gets out of line and goes over to abuse.